The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
