God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize