when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
