i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
