its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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