it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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