we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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