sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
