Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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