she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm getting married
To pizza
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
