Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize