So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
