I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize