Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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