i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
