for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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