youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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