wake up i wanna do it froggy style
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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