To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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