im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
