Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
