I am puke
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
