how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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