i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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