That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
