I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
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I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
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Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I supernannyed him into submission
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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