Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
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mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize