she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize