the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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