Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
