you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
