Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
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you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize