Whod you bang
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
operation have a gay friend backfired
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
