Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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