if only i could text you this smell
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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