i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
