Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize