shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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