Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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