haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize