He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
