You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
