Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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