i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
