what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
