I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
