Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
