What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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