I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Randomize
