apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its not stalking. its research.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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