Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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