i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I stole a fireplace last night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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