You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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