Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
