I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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